I found someone without a secure internet connection, so I finally get to sit down and use the internet. I have been dying to sit down and write a new blog!

I have been focusing on the negative a lot lately: I don't teach in the best area. I have students who have parents who are not supportive. Children come into class obnoxiously loud, children forget instruments, a good portion of the children cannot read, and calling home doesn't usually make a difference. I have been getting frustrated with this corrupt school system and city- yearning to move to a more "civilized city."

The odd thing, however, is that I was offered another position in a brand new school. Right at my interview, they offered me the job. It was everything I hoped to have (Other than the fact I preferred working with Middle school). I took the weekend to think over it and I turned them down today.

As I began thinking about it, I realized that all the people in the world who made a difference didn't quit when things began to start getting hard. They worked in the toughest circumstances and fought for something they believed in. If I were to move to another school because something seemed hard, I would be abandoning all this hard work that went into this year! I also realized how much I loved these kids and what all went into this time that we have spent together. I am building something and creating something and I don't want to leave.

We always want to make a difference, but we don't like feeling stretched and being called out on our weaknesses. We want to call someone else out and self-preserve ourselves. I get onto my students for doing that all the time and when I take a good look into the mirror, I am doing that myself too.

Since I have moved to Memphis, I have questioned why some of my favorable traits have gone away and I realized that this has been a stretching process. I only developed those attributes in college because I was in a bubble environment: I got to see who I could become. But in a unique environment where nothing is comfortable, I have really been able to fight for the confidence to see who I am. I have confidence because I have become as successful as I am in a place I probably shouldn't be successful. I am slowly becoming more social and now that I am hitting my mature mark, I can stop thinking less of myself and more of other people.

On another note, it is wonderful to be married. I feel like it's so much easier to move forward and I love having a husband who balances me out so well. We have so much fun together and I have noticed such an improvement in my happiness and I don't worry about things nearly as much anymore. I have found time to accomplish things I would like to do outside of work and when I leave work, I'm done. I may have days where I stay a bit longer, but I'm still usually home before my husband is.

I am finally beginning to see that even if things are horrible and situations aren't ideal, you have nothing to worry about as long as you do your best. You can succeed wherever you are. I have so much to be grateful for and I don't always recognize that.