Just because you are attracted to someone doesn't mean you are compatible with someone: they may fit every single requirement on your list or amaze you with something they do- which SHOULD be the case- but that does not necessarily mean that the two of you would work together. Infatuation blinds us as to what we actually want and what the other person is actually able to give us. A relationship works when BOTH people are reaching on their toes to constantly catch up with the other person. If someone, person A, only likes to sit and wait for things to happen and goes after person B who day in and day out is actively seeking opportunities, they must recognize that won't work out unless person A changes some of his/her attributes. Person A may be very attracted to person B because person A admires the way person B is living his/her life and person A may constantly receive everything desired from interactions, but person A needs to recognize they cannot meet all the needs of person B because he/she has spent so much time working his/herself and therefore they are on different levels.
A lot of people don't recognize the types of things that contribute to compatibility: The ability to make one another laugh, the ability to openly talk about problems, the ability to spend time with one another and constantly want to be in the presence of each other, the ability to have conversations and not feel one is higher or lower than another, the ability to feel natural and calm around one another without having to try.
I believe that while attraction may not be able to be controlled, who we decide to like and pursue can be. I don't want to be a fresh piece of meat to men who haven't seen anything like me before and they want me. I want to be honored and respected and given the time to have the men get to know me to see if we are compatible and if things will work out between BOTH of us. I want the man to feel and understand how much I adore him and care about him and allow him to give me the chance to honor him. But I also need that he shows me that he cares about me by trying to understand me and be there for me in the ways that I need.
I do not get upset at men for liking me when we are not compatible, but I do get upset at the way men treat me when I am not interested in them. I admit that women can be petty- but if people take the time to know me, they should recognize that my heart is so sensitive, there are few people I trust with it. I believe in eternity and physical relations and emotional contact I have is always based on how I feel it will impact me for eternity.
I believe men and women can change and that even though there may be two people who are not compatible at the given moment, there is such a thing as repentance- a change of heart- where one or both the people can change and develop more into better people. That is why I hate this stupid concept of the friend-zone. The friend zone either exists because people are on different levels or they are extremely incompatible. For some reason, I feel this would be the case between Jackie Chan and Martha Stewart: Even if Jackie Chan liked her and claimed he loved her, do you think it would ever work out?
But the one thing I really wish I could say is that because you like someone who may not be compatible with you, it is not the end of the world. You should take this as a victory and recognize that you don't have to spend your time arguing and bickering because the two of you don't see things the way and dragging things out in the hopes you can make them work. If you just for some reason cannot get over the other individual and keep getting rejected and you feel that person makes you better, then figure out what YOU need to do to meet that other individual's needs. Learn to be patient and not only seek for the things that you want, but to learn and accept the things that the other individual wants.
This earth is made of love and of companionship- not lust and selfishness. So please, do not take it personal if someone does not return the romantic feelings you have and still wants to have you as a part of their lives. Leave if you must, but don't be angry...
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