It's okay!

I have been contemplating a lot lately about sacrifices. I am not quite sure why, but for some reason, I feel there is an association between sacrifice and happiness. I have never been a man before so I can't speak for men, but as a woman, I recognize that the most profound joy comes the moments I give a part of myself away. Many times I often feel vulnerable when giving a part of me away because there is the possibility of the opposite extreme of being taken advantage of or over-extending oneself. However, I believe that it is through sacrifice, when a person gives up something they want, they have, or that is dear to them to make another person happy or to show humility that not only brings happiness to both individuals, but creates a stronger bond between the two people as well.

As I began to contemplate this idea of sacrifice, the idea of people with beautiful intentions who desire to become heroes popped up. I think perhaps on a small scale and sometimes even subconsciously, these individuals want to be recognized for their sacrifices as heroes are, but I think the main thing is that they find their happiness in spending as much time as possible to help others. These are the people who will take emotional, physical, and mental weight to "save" other people. People who aspire to be heroes believe that with the appropriate amount of work, they can accomplish whatever they desire. While these people oftentimes quite literally become heroes, like Mother Theresa, the lack of accomplishing this goal leads an individual to despair and worthlessness. The life of a "hero" is lonely because they feel they do not deserve to be loved, rather only being the one giving the love. Exhaustion, depression, and anxiety plagues the non-super heroes. And eventually they realize they are mere mortals who have tried harder than they anticipated. Simple things such as wasting a day due to exhaustion or being unproductive for about 3 hours simply tears these people apart.

I am one of these people. I still believe that sacrifice is necessary for happiness for pride is the most lonely and most detrimental elements a person can have, however, part of sacrifice is allowing other people to fill your holes. The key element though, is that a person should not EXPECT these holes to be filled, but once the option and possibility is there, a person should be able to willingly accept that without feelings of guilt and allow the other individual the opportunity to gain happiness from sacrifice.

So the thing I have learned is that it's okay.

It's okay to cry when you are hurt. You are able to fall and be bitter for a moment to yourself because you have to learn to be honest with yourself. Once you have cried, you will see how to take another step, but never be afraid of crying.

It's okay to take a break. People are more successful in the long-run when they take breaks because they have the mental and emotional capacity to not only continue, but to come up with more creative ideas.

It's okay to laugh. It's okay to smile. And It's okay to be silly. If you learn to be happy with yourself and by yourself and find the beauties in life without worrying about making someone else happy, then ultimately, you will make more people happy.

It's okay to make a mistake. People know that nobody is perfect and I have realized that people are more resented when they pretend they ARE perfect. We have the experiences we do to help one another and we fall so that we can climb to higher grounds.

It's okay to be angry, to worry, or to feel however else you are feeling. Just like I said about crying: you embrace the emotion and then learn from this event later.

It's okay to spend money on yourself and things that you enjoy. Yes, it is important and necessary to live within your means and yes, it is a good thing to help others, but budget enough money for yourself and realize that you deserve to be happy too.

It's okay to listen to music, Try food, and experiment many other things without people around until you discover what you love and what makes you yourself. It's okay to listen and enjoy those things around other people whether they like them or not because people want to know who you are and not always go along with what they want.

Most of all, it's okay that you're not a hero. People love you because of the imperfections you have. You don't have to change a world. You just have to live  the best you can and do the best you can. But your best can include failures and mistakes. Your best comes from your desires and how you accomplish them.