Thursday, August 25, 2011

My tangled thoughts.

Sometimes, I feel like because there are so many other people in the world all with such incredible ideas and insights, I have to come up with something unique and extraordinary to surpass the mediocrity that lies around me.

I enjoy being the silent observer. I like to sit back and watch people: you see the self-conscious girl who is beautiful but doesn't recognize the beauty she has. She goes and talks to people, but she never wants to be the center of attention. You see the over- weight man who does his best at everything but is constantly trampled over and wondering whether he should give up. You see the cocky beautiful man who has girls flocking to him and doesn't have to work for anything he has-- but deep inside he is lonely and wishes people could really see him for who he is. You see the awkward girl who is so lonely and is invisible but desperately tries to have someone see her. As I watch these people, I realize that mediocrity is simply just the ability to allow life to define who we are. The wonderful and great ideas come from those timid, awkward girls who look in the mirror and realize that is okay if they are invisible as long as they are able to do what they need to do.

I feel that we sometimes are blinded by our weaknesses because they are disguised in our strengths and our passions. Girls have such a huge tendency and ability to love with all their heart, I oftentimes think they overlook the ability to see how much they are hurting and allowing other people to get by with the things that they do. I used to question why girls could put up with abuse from their husbands, but the older I get and the more my needs are less prevalent, I recognize that in order to recognize what our greatest weaknesses are, we must also recognize what our greatest strengths are. I find it ironic that our strengths cause our weaknesses, but that they will also allow ourselves to overcome our weaknesses.

Another thing I have been contemplating upon is our passions and our desires. I believe that what fuels a person to accomplish and live the life that they live is fueled by our passions. Some live their life indulging in the things that make them happy- that is what brings them happiness. Others recognize the things that bring them the most happiness, but indulge upon these pleasures only at the moments that brings them the most joy. To these people, it is the work that brings that the value of the reward. I have come to recognize that while each person is different, the person who does not immediately indulge in the reward is scorned and often feels guilty about their decision when they shouldn't. Whereas some people who indulge frequently and upon their own desire recognize that the prize begins to lose value when it is acquired all the time. I cannot speak for other people, but I believe that true happiness comes from work. I believe that having a vision of what we want is a good thing to have. I believe that it is okay to have the things we want under the right circumstances. But once we work, we will gain a reward and we will be filled with happiness. Alcoholics, Chocoholics, Obese people, and other people with such strong desire for substance consume whatever they want when they want because it makes them happy. Compare this to a child who is promised that once he completes a meritt badge, he will be rewarded with a hot fudge sunday from dairy queen. The kid is not constantly thinking about the hot fudge sunday, but he learns and tries his hardest, but the happiness from having each taste of the fudge brings him a happiness he could no otherwise have.

One of my other thinkings is of logic. I love the brain. I love the study of neurology and I love the study of psychology. My brother has a very interesting concept that I believe I agree with. He believes that Logic, Emotion, and Intuition work together and we must learn how to balance the three of these things to have a stable life. I fear that our society is becoming so consumed with the logic, that the other areas of our needs are becoming abandoned. Why is it we are afraid to cry in front of somebody else, yet we can logically tell somebody else the injustice done to us? Why is it when we have an intuition we immediately cannot explain, the intuition is considered invalid until there are words to accompany that intuition? Why is it we are so readily able to separate religion and science? Why is it that school programs are cutting the arts so the academics can grow stronger with the limited budgets?

This is what I believe: Each of us have a conscious and subconscious. Logic is associated with the conscious brain, Intuition is associated with the unconscious, and emotion links the two together. I feel it is completely fine that a person may be more logically based, but upon a given stimulus, that person is able to recognize what the stimulus is- that is then given the emotion and processed into the subconscious and released in various forms. There are others, like myself, whose unconscious (or subconscious rather) is so strong from experiences in the past or for religious people like myself- may be spiritual, produce vividly strong reactions of this is good or this is bad. The intuition is an emotion and the brain replays this in the the mind until logic is formed.

There are multiple combinations of these three, but I think the point is made that whatever combination is formed, the three need to work together. I feel that music is one of the gifts we are given to aid us in understanding our emotions. Do not take me wrong- I do not believe that emotions are more necessary than logic. I very much believe the two go together. I believe that we have the ability to control how we are feeling, but our intuition determines the feelings we are allowed to develop and warns us of feelings we are incapable of developing. Anyways, music allows us to open up our mind, hearts, and subconscious, and experience something we have been unable to experience before we recognized this. I feel it is extremely scary that we allow thoughts and ideas to control things, when without balance of emotion and intuition, they are empty calculations and theories.

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