What I wish I knew before I got married

So now that I have officially been married a year today, I realize there are things I wish I had known before I got married:

- I wish I knew that men and women communicate differently. Even though at first, you both may feel you are speaking another language, you come to realize that men and women communicate differently for a reason. As a very wise person (Elder Bednar) once said: A boy has a boy spirit and a girl has a girl spirit. The girl may sit there and cry for no apparent reason, but the boy feels like he needs to do something to solve the problem. The girl doesn't necessarily want to be told what to do, but the boy doesn't understand why she's crying: there must be a solution! There is a lot of comedy involved in women and men communicating, but the beauty is that they really do connect! We just both need to be on the same channel. Through the conversations we have had this year, I have been able to figure out what I really need to do to change than before I was married. It is incredible how women and men really balance one another out.

- I wish I knew how much I would hate being alone. Before I got married, I was the most stubborn and independent person: I felt I could do everything by myself. While every person needs time to themselves, and while I and still do things by myself, I never realized that loving someone in the purest form meant aching from not being with that person when they are away, even for a little bit.

- I wish I knew how crazy I would get. When you are around someone who loves you just for who you are, you no longer need to hold yourself back. I have been able to look at myself for exactly who I am, especially my weaknesses. But the best moment is when you realize how crazy you actually are and your husband just looks at you, full of love and patience. These are the moments that motivate me to continue becoming a better person not because anyone expects it, but because I see who I can become.

- I didn't realize I would fail at so many things. From keeping the house clean, to having time to cook, to planning the perfect anniversary or valentines surprises, I bombed according to the expectations in my mind. I have started to realize (though it may never sink in), that I don't need to be perfect and that the small moments we spend together and that the messy house and box dinners are all part of being in love the first year of marriage.

- I didn't realize that your spouse would see more of your strength than you do. My husband is daily getting me to see the strengths I have and convincing me of them. I may not always be able to see them, but it is nice to have someone who can see the beauty in what you are doing and how precious you really are.

- I wish I would have known how sick I would get. It seems that different sicknesses keep popping up on me. Being on your own, you learn to cope with it and push through, but it is nice to have a husband who will wake up early, even though he can sleep in to go and buy medicine and cough drops for you before you leave to work early in the morning so you can make it through the day. He also has gone out just to find me soup and a humidifier to help me feel better.

- I wish I knew how much I was able to laugh. I am always on my toes. There are few moments that are not filled with me rolling my eyes, smiling, or laughing. I didn't realize before meeting my husband that I would be picked on and irritated on a daily basis, but I would not trade it for anything.  Anyone who knew me before knew how stressed out and anxious I am; however my husband helps me relax and not worry about things as much.

- I wish I knew the man I married: While I loved my husband and saw how special he was before we got married, I continue to discover just how wonderful he is. I love watching him while he's talking to people and understand how much he loves to help people. I love seeing how much my husband thinks about those around him before himself. I love to watch how he will go out and do things he really doesn't feel like doing because he is a honest man and wants to do the right thing. I love watching him play with little children: they look up to him so much and he is filled with so much love for them. I love how he is never afraid to be and do what he feels he should do or wants to do. And I love that he only speaks highly of me to those around me- even if I do things to completely irritate him. 

- I wish I would have known what small and precious moments are: Waking up to a husband cleaning the house because he knows you are worn out, having a smoothie and a lunch waiting for you before you go out the door because he knows how tired you've been so he lets you sleep in a little longer, starting the car for you so you don't have to trek out in the cold and scrape off the ice, bringing you flowers because you were hurting, sitting and listening even though there is a game he really wants to watch, listening to your squeaky students at their concert and looking at you in admiration. I never realized that life could be filled with so many tender moments. (And he still opens the door for me!)

- I wish I understood what people said about how the first year of marriage is the hardest, but best year of your marriage. It's not so much that this year was hard, as it was transitioning from being single to being married. I hope that this isn't necessarily the best year of our marriage, but I think it will be the most special because we have created so many special memories and moments I never want to forget. We have been able really understand one another and I can't wait for the adventures and excitement to continue to another year.

I feel so blessed that a year ago today my husband and I were able to be sealed for time and all eternity. If this year is to reflect the rest of the time we have together, than I am more confident of my decision of marrying him today than I was a year ago. I was blessed to inherit a new family full of love as well as support from my family. I am grateful every morning I wake up for another day I get to spend with the love of my life. Here's to another year!